When I was little, about six, seven years old, my favorite after-school cartoon was the Steven Spielberg-produced “Animaniacs”. I don’t know how many of you watched this charming variety show starring the pun-spewing Warner siblings Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, but this little gem of animation was the origin of such now-classics as “Pinky and the Brain”.

Many of the show’s musical numbers stayed with me for years and remain with me still, but this particular one, entitled “Be Careful What You Eat”, popped into my head the other day as I read the ingredients on a popular candy bar which shall remain nameless. Whenever anyone asks me why I avoid sodas or popular brands of chips, I direct them to this song. Watch it and reach for the vegetables.

]]> http://jcarrot.org/cartoons-and-candy/feed 3 http://jcarrot.org/jonathan-safran-foer-on-last-nights-colbert-report http://jcarrot.org/jonathan-safran-foer-on-last-nights-colbert-report#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:21:58 +0000 Mia-Rut http://jcarrot.org/?p=10823 For those of you with basic cable and can stay up until 11:30pm, may have caught this interview last night. If not, here is the bit including the end of the interview where Colbert eats bacon in front of Foer. It’s worth checking out and worth checking out his book too.

My dear friends The Wandering Jew and David Levy over at Jewschool, sick with envy that they couldn’t attend the Hazon Food Conference this year, produced this tongue-in-cheek video to vicariously participate nonetheless. Please enjoy their playful snark as we consider how the hell this product fits into the eco-kashrut movement.

This is a tale of two cities, each with a venerable Jewish culinary legacy that claims boasting rights to the world’s best bagel. Until now, these parallel universes have existed at a safe distance. But Mile End – a new Quebecois-style restaurant opening next month in Brooklyn - will bring the long-standing New York/Montreal bagel standoff to a head. In preparation, I consulted the experts about which “roll with a hole” steals their hearts, and their stomachs.

Read what they said below – and for more on Mile End, check out my article in Edible Brooklyn.

TEAM NEW YORK
“Smoked salmon tastes good with everything, but a real, old-fashioned New York bagel is lox’s ideal match. Our bagels are water hand-rolled and boiled before they’re baked so they’re crispy on the surface and chewy inside – the definition of a perfect bagel.
- Herman Vargas, Manager 29 years at Russ & Daughters in NYC

—

“…no city, perhaps in the history of the world, is so closely identified with a breadstuff as New York is with the bagel. Whether eaten plain or with a “schmear” of cream cheese, with whitefish salad or a slice of Nova, with sesame seeds or salt, toasted or untoasted, by Jew, gentile, Muslim, Buddhist or agnostic, the bagel has, for more than a century, helped define breakfast in New York.”
- Ed Levine writing in The New York Times Dec 31, 2003

TEAM MONTREAL
“New York may have many gastronomic wonders, but in the bagel department, it’s challenged. New Yorkers who consider those giant, fluffy hockey pucks manna from heaven haven’t tried a warm, thinly-rolled, sesame-crusted (and not merely dusted), sweet Montreal bagel.”
- Lara Rabinovitch, editor of CuiZine: The Journal of Canadian Food Cultures

—

“The “everything bagel” seems to me the quintessence of New York bagel hubris – about as tasteful as Wonder Bread. Not so the delicate and subtly sweet Montreal bagel, which comes in only two varieties: sesame and poppy seeds (the taste derives from the dough; no need for fancy toppings). As my Zayde once explained to me, the Montreal bagel is better because it’s made with more love, sweetness and patience than New Yorkers have to spare.”
- Professor Alan Nadler, Harvard University

THE TIE-BREAKER

“I happen to be a New York snob and generally assume everything is better here, but that’s not what I’ve found with the bagel. The New York bagel of my childhood was wonderful – sweet and chewy – but it’s rare to find one like that anymore. Montreal captures the taste of the bagels I remember.”
- Sharon Lebewohl, co-owner of 2nd Avenue Deli

Bagel photo credit: Epicurean Life

***********************

Judaism divides the calendar into regular days,  (like Purim and Rosh Hashanah) and festivals (like Passover and Sukkot). As American Jews my family adds to that secular holidays – some which we embrace wholeheartedly (Independence Day, Thanksgiving), some which we wrestle with (Halloween, Sweetest Day) and those that we dismiss out of hand (Valentine’s Day. And thank you Rabbi Joe Black for giving us a song for that very dilemma!)

In our house, however, our children have forced us to recognize a super-set of holidays, something that transcends religious and secular boundaries. That, of course, would be “dessert days”.

When our first child, Heather, was little, we were the typical neurotic first-time parents. We closely monitored anything she ate, purchased only orthopedic-ally-certified little booties to ensure proper foot development, and dutifully sterilized everything that might come into contact with her mouth (including the cat).

Even so, we realized by the time she was 4 or 5 that dessert in our house had gotten out of control. It was a standard part of our dinner routine, and was become the primary reason (in Heather’s view) to eat dinner at all.

Debbie and I decided to scale back, but we knew we had to go about it creatively. You can’t just yank the dessert rug out from under a toddler – there’s no telling what might happen. It’s a little known fact that the last words Lizzy Borden’s parents said to her before that fateful night were “You didn’t eat your broccoli, so no cheesecake tonight”.

We knew we had to move carefully to avoid a Toddler Typhoon. So we pinned it on God (hey, don’t knock it. If you are looking for someone who has broad shoulders, you can’t get much broader than that!). We sat her down with appropriately somber expressions and laid it out the situation:

“We were talking with the Rabbi, and we just found out that God said the only dessert day is Shabbat. All the other days are not dessert days. We’re so disappointed! But we don’t think that we want God to be angry with us for not listening. What do you think?”

Heather put on her best “don’t like it but going to try to make the best of it” expression and said “I guess we gotta then.” (pause) “How ’bout just snacks? How ’bout birthdays?”

We promised to check back with the Rabbi.

From that point on, when there was a question about dessert, we invoked the mantra: “Is it Shabbat?” which was enough to close the discussion.

Then we discovered that the problem with sending your kids to school – especially religious school – is that sometimes they pay attention.

One Sunday sometime during first grade, Heather came home flush with the excitement of discovery and revelation:

“wejustlearnedaboutanotherholidayanditcomeseveryweekbutitsnotshabbatandiknowtheteachersaiditwasA DESSERT HOLIDAY TOO!!”

Upon further investigation, this additional weekly dessert holiday was called “Havdalah” and Heather knew all about it – enough to guide us through the particulars, which included a significant discussion on what kinds of desserts were acceptable. Havdalah also had something to do with candles, grapejuice and “stuff that smells”, as Heather so delicately put it, along with a song that had a lot of lai lais in it.

Readers of The Edible Torah may remember that I was somewhat conflicted about celebrating Havdalah without knowing precisely what I was doing. With Heather as my enthusiastic cheerleader, I found myself *strongly* encouraged to let go of those concerns and go with the flow.

I also found a reason to stop using my concerns as an excuse not to find out more. What’s more, I am blessed to be able to say that this was not the last time my kids pushed me to grow Jewishly.

12 years and 3 children later we still only eat dessert on Shabbat. And Havdallah. And the Jewish holidays. And Birthdays. And sometimes on secular holidays too. My kids seem pretty happy with the arrangement.

But I’m looking for a good Jewish diet book.

I don’t wish to disappoint anyone, but this post does not contain any recipes or ideas for healthy snacks to give out to your trick-or-treaters this Halloween.  Actually, it is an appeal for just the opposite.

I overheard an acquaintance telling someone how they would be giving out “healthy snacks” to young trick-or-treaters for Halloween.  The other replied:  “You know, that’s such a great idea.  I should do that.”

Now, I know there are many foodies reading this blog (including myself), but I couldn’t help but find myself feeling a bit sorry for the kids who would be knocking on their doors expecting Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups this Saturday night, only to find a vegan oat-bran something-or-other dropped into their plastic pumpkin.

Personally, I enjoy vegan cookies (especially the ones at Real Food Daily in Los Angeles).  But I recall one Halloween when I was about 10 or 11, trick-or-treating with my friends in a suburb of Austin, TX, when we came to a house whose owner gave us each a Delicious Red apple – and nothing else.  I picked it up, looked at it quizically, and grudgingly dropped it back into my pumpkin.  (How this person could afford to buy so many apples, I do not know…though they weren’t organic).

Growing up, Halloween was one of the only times in the year when I was permitted to eat tooth-rotting candy.  And it wasn’t just the candy itself that was so special.  My friends and I would sit on the floor of my living room, dump out our “take” on the carpet, and begin trading with one another:  a Twix for a York Peppermint patty; Twizzlers for some Red Hots…though we had no formal diplomatic experience, we created a perfect – if chaotic – system of trade whereby each child was able to end up with his/her most favorite sweets at the end of the night.

How many children will be able to unload a vegan, sugar-free lollipop or a Delicious Red apple onto one of their peers?  Fat chance.  Perhaps, then, we should not begrudge children this one night of processed sweets, if only for the communal aspect that goes along with the abundance of sugar and which is sure to add to their psycho-social development.

Just make sure they brush their teeth very well.

I love hummus. I really do. I had some this morning for breakfast. I will probably have some with dinner. I seriously considered running away with my favorite hummus-seller in Machane Yehuda when I lived in Israel. But even I have never really considered the possibility of a sweet hummus. I mean, at its base hummus is mashed chickpeas. And when I think chickpeas I don’t think dessert.

Well lucky (?) for me, there are people in the world who don’t think the way I do when it comes to chickpeas. They saw hummus as a dessert-in-the-making. And they added some cocoa powder and some sugar (sugar! The humanity!) and they called it Chocolate Hummus.

Apparently the results are delicious and relatively healthy — you know, because of all of the CHICKPEAS that they smashed up with CHOCOLATE.

I’m sorry, but — WHA???? There are some ideas that should not be realized, people. When Herzl said, “If you will it, it is no dream,” he was not talking about hummus.

And these sweet hummus people haven’t stopped at chocolate. You can also buy the following flavored hummuses: pumpkin pie, toasted almond, peanut butter, caramel apple, and maple walnut. They’re made by a company called, I kid you not, Dessert Hummus.

Caramel Apple Hummus?! It’s just wrong.

To be fair, Health.com has reviewed these ridiculous flavors and calls them “brilliant.” This makes me think health.com is maybe not so healthy in the head.

Some things are sacred, people. God, for instance. Also, the Torah. And: HUMMUS. Stop messing with it. Jeesh!

Finally: I challenge someone to buy a case of this dessert hummus. Bring it to the MJL offices so we can try it and I can see if my gut revulsion is warranted or not.

(Cross-posted at Mixed Multitudes)

Tiny Vial of Pharisäer

What do you put in your coffee?

Pharisees of course

Ever-sensitive to appearances of Jewish references in popular culture, I was a bit surprised to read Maureen Dowd’s headline in the New York Times on Sunday, July 19, 2009: “Pharisees on the Potomac”

I did not see any mention of late antiquity in her column and it was not until a number of hours later that I realized she had used the Christian allusion to Pharisees as hypocrites! Shame on her and shame on her editors (I wonder if William Safire saw the column). As the Wikipedia makes quite clear:

Because of the New Testament’s frequent depictions of Pharisees as self-righteous rule-followers, the word “pharisee” (and its derivatives: “pharisaical”, etc.) has changed in meaning and has come into semi-common usage in English to describe a hypocritical and arrogant person who places the letter of the law above its spirit. Jews today (who subscribe to Pharisaic Judaism) typically find this insulting if not anti-Semitic.

But what does this have to do with coffee?

When Debbie and I traveled in Europe in the spring of 2006, our route took us from Mainz to Hameln.  We climbed out of the Rhine valley and spent the night at a lovely campsite outside of Alsfeld.

Camping near Alsfeld

The following day, we had the entire day to accomplish a two and a half-hour drive. So when we found ourselves in downtown Alsfeld we took advantage of the situation. We had a couple of errands to accomplish and needed to purchase some food for lunch so we stopped and explored the market square, the old wood-beamed buildings and a couple of the small shops along the main market street.

In one of the tiny shops we found a small bottle of Heimbs Kaffee labeled PHARISÄER. It turned out to be a bit of coffee-flavored rum (or perhaps rum-flavored coffee).

Needless to say, I bought a couple of bottles as souvenirs. I have added a drop or three to my own coffee periodically. I could not find any other references to it at the time, but Maureen had me thinking more about the Pharisees, so I began a search. The story is told by Christina Geyer, an American expatriate in Germany on her blog which I reproduce here:

The weather-beaten coastal residents of the North Sea have always had a passion for freshly-brewed, strong coffee — as opposed to their tea-drinking cousins from the beaches of the Baltic Sea. Especially appreciated was the black brew with a rich ingredient that was a hallmark of Flensburg: Rum! Nothing weighed on the brave people more though, than to bother their watchful preacher with this small vice. And so they camouflaged the feel-good cup — in the form of an airy dollop of cream. Naturally, it didn’t take long for the man of God to discover their tactic and in his outrage he cried: Oh, you pharisees!

I’m fascinated by the etymology of the name for this drink and would like to learn more about it. I’ve yet to find a more authoritative source.

No more “Pharisees”

My bottle is nearly empty. I have not found any source for importing more Heimbs Kaffee PHARISÄER to New York to stock on my shelf. However, even if I can replenish my supply, I hope that Maureen Dowd removes the word from her shelf of available pejoratives.