Latkes a little too Eastern European? Not sephardic enough for sufganiyot? Here are some more American ways to celebrate the miracle of the oil, courtesy of our synagogue teen group’s yearly Fry-Fest^(tm):

• Fried Oreos - These are amazing. The cookies become warm chocolate cake, and the middle turns into an internal glaze, all surrounded by fried dough. Take that, jelly donut!
• Fried Snickers Bars - known in England as Fried Mars Bars (what they call Snickers across the pond), these were OK, but a bit too goey for my taste. But hey, fried candy can’t be a total waste…This site also references another classic:
• Fried Twinkies - now we’re getting somewhere!
• For a savory treat, you can try a southern favorite, fried pickles - they’ve got to be better than these.
• And why not wash it all down with the newest state fair sensation…Fried Coca-Cola!! We’re trying this one tonight, and I’ll report back with results. You can find cola syrup as a digestive aid in many pharmacies.

Misc notes:

• It’s a good thing we fry all these goodies in oil (maybe even one of the healthy oils profiled recently on jcarrot), otherwise, this recent story about a schmaltz spill might have left a whole lot of unhappy fryers this Chanukkah.
• Looking for a way to combat global warming while digesting your latkes? Why not buy one of these? The Frypod2 converts used cooking oil into biodiesel fuel, usable by any car with a diesel engine. No need to install any after-market conversion unit (which are still pretty cool, btw).
• Speaking of fried potatoes and global warming, even Frito-Lay is getting into the act, by building the first eco-friendly factory for making potato chips.
• Finally, I know that the goat is getting all the attention at the Hazon conference (which I’m sadly missing), but what about those poor spuds? Just ask Lemony Snicket, who just wrote an amazing Chanukkah story entitled, “The Latke Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming,” newly published by McSweeney’s (who else?) and available for sneak preview here.

Best wishes for a happy (if not heart-healthy) Chanukkah, fellow eco-Jewish foodies! Maybe I’ll be lucky and find one of these under my chanukkiah this year…