On Monday morning I, along with two of my Jewish farming colleagues, was lucky enough to attend a rural circumcision, my first. The father was a gentile, the mother Israeli, the hosts were not very observant, and neither were most of the guests. In fact, the three farmers in flannel were the most observant Jews there, with the exception of the Litchfield Chabad Rabbi and the Lubavitch Mohel (the circumciser).

The Bris seemed to be run almost entirely by the Mohel and the Rabbi, and it brought up some interesting questions. The mother was practically invisible (though, this might be understandable), and the father only slight less invisible. It was mostly a men’s event, which makes sense as we were welcoming this baby into the Jewish Boy’s Club. On the way over, one of my compatriots mentioned that the hosts had driven to Waterbury to get Kosher bagels for the Bris, which he thought was a bit much. Do they usually eat Kosher bagels? No, but this was for the Rabbi. At the Bris I heard questions such as, “If the coffee pot has only been used for coffee, is it kosher?” 

After the ceremony it was, of course, time for the bagels and lox. Before we ate, the Rabbi implored us all to wash our hands and make a blessing together, in order to do a big mitzvah (commandment). Before we left, he led us all in a mildly disruptive Grace After Meals… disruptive because most of the men didn’t know the tune, weren’t interested in the prayer, and were probably turned off by it.

On the drive back to the farm we had a lot to think and talk about. My friend was upset because he felt that the parents had abdicated any role in the ritual and allowed it to be performed by a Rabbi that they barely knew. Additionally, they had to go out of their way for kosher bagels and other things. I noted that, for better or worse, many secular Israelis had taken that same attitude; when they get married, circumcised and buried, it’s by an Orthodox Rabbi, while during the rest of their lives they have almost no connection to Jewish ritual.

My friend wants the people to take back the ritual from the rabbinate since, after all, we aren’t a temple cult anymore. I’m not so sure. My respect for the Rabbis and scholars come from the fact (or idea) that they are holding themselves to a strict code of values that comes from Above, rather than a set of personal values. As rabbinic Jews, we cede the authority to the select few who are able to hold themselves to the standard that we (the laypeople) cannot achieve.

On the other hand, my environmental collegue has a set of values that he holds stricly which I respect as well. In fact, I respect it even more when I see him using a plastic plate, rather than offend the hosts and make a scene, even though he abhors the entire notion of disposable plates. But these paper plates are here only because the Chabad Rabbis won’t eat on the hosts plates! Here we see Jewish Law and Environmentalism coming into conflict.

Who is right? I have no idea. I won’t compromise and eat non-kosher meat even when it is raised and slaughtered in a sustainable manner. I’m also not sure I want a Rabbi who makes compromises like that, because isn’t the idea of values (or at least religious values) that some are too important to bend. The Chabad Rabbis have the weight of thousands, or at least hundreds, of years of tradition behind their ritual, which is why these unaffilitated rural Jews are willing cede them control over their ritual life. They also don’t have muh experience with ritual on their own, which makes it easier to let someone else take care of it, especially when they have a big beard and hat.

Some Jewish farmers, on the other hand, take the idea of “taking back our ritual” very seriously, possibly even too far. They make blessings in a totally non-traditinal manner. My friend said he would have rather the Bris have been performed by a doctor with a poem read by the parents, if that was what would have gotten them involved, rather than just allowed someone else to do it all for them. I’m not so sure I would have preferred that kind of Bris, but I do wish that the parents had been able to take a more active role in their ritual life.

So what does it all mean? Should the hosts drive 2 hours out of the way for Kosher bagels and let the Chabad Rabbi do the Bris his way? Maybe, and maybe not. Should we refuse to eat the Kosher bagels because they are on plastic plates? I say of course not, but some might say yes. Should the parents have even hired a Rabbi from New York for the Bris when this kid might not see a Rabbi again until his Bar Mitzvah? I’m not so sure about this one, but I’d sure love to hear what you think about all these questions…