Comments on: Lacto-ovo-Vegetarian vs. Carnivore

By: Ivy Manning

Ivy Manning — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 22:51:28 +0000

There are so many of us mixed-diet couples out there. I wrote a book about it and had no trouble finding a publisher (it is out Nov. 2009). I wrote the book I needed every night of the week. I have figured out a way to cook one meal and feed the omnis and veggies in the family. It takes some getting used to, but it is possible! Take heart, Alice.

By: Michael Croland

Michael Croland — Mon, 25 May 2009 16:06:20 +0000

Also, you might want to check out my March 2008 post about Jewish married couples that consist of one vegetarian and one meat-eater:

http://heebnvegan.blogspot.com.....iages.html (or if that doesn’t work: http://tinyurl.com/o95tej)

By: Michael Croland

Michael Croland — Mon, 25 May 2009 15:59:27 +0000

I’m vegan and I generally try to avoid handling meat, but I posted to my blog yesterday about some exceptions:

http://heebnvegan.blogspot.com.....ungry.html (or if that doesn’t work: http://tinyurl.com/qupqpx )

By: Cecily

Cecily — Mon, 25 May 2009 01:08:45 +0000

Hi Alice, thanks so much for sharing your friend’s story. I had a hard time being a vegan/vegetarian as a 20 year old in terms of peer pressure I can’t imagine what it must be like for your friend. She must really be applauded for sticking to her guns at such a young age. Maybe she should bring her lunch from home if that’s allowed. Then she would have more to eat during the school day. /c

By: Alice Marbach

Alice Marbach — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:48:02 +0000

My friend Seraphina is a ten year old vegetarian, the only one in her house. She and her sister eat fish pasta instead of eating meat sauce and her sister doesn’t mind (she is not vegetarian). At our school she eats vegetarian but the choice is limited because most things are meat.

By: Alix

Alix — Tue, 19 May 2009 23:36:26 +0000

I was in one of these mixed marriages until I began eating meat last year. My husband agreed to eat meat only out, except that we had one cast iron pan that he used for it, and special dishes. That was our compromise. Then I began eating it, so now it’s not a problem, but my “less meat” diet still rules the house, pretty much.

By: Cecily

Cecily — Tue, 19 May 2009 02:30:41 +0000

Thank you. I really appreciate your stories,comments, and criticism. I have avoided responding until now because with the flood gates open I know not where to begin. I do know though that in this list lie the words of my spouse and that there is immense hope and respect in his words.

As far as I’m concerned this dialogue has only just begun. Stay tuned…

By: Arlyn Boltax

Arlyn Boltax — Mon, 18 May 2009 18:11:50 +0000

I have a good friend who is a veg. but makes delicious chicken. Kol HaKavod to you for being willing to cook for your family what you choose not to eat yourself. Some would say that’s true love!

When I was veg, I relegated my husband to eating meat out only. Wouldn’t cook it or have it in the house. Now we all eat meat, although this past Shabbat, my four year old declared that “When I get older, I am going to be a vegetarian!”. A lofty proclamation for a young fellow, and especially funny as he was eating meatballs at the time!

And, actually, the “no leftover” rule made me smile!

By: Eda Goldstein

Eda Goldstein — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:45:36 +0000

Cecily,

The fact that I was a vegetarian and my husband and children ate meat was never a problem–until the kibbutz kitchen and dining room closed down, and we started preparing meals at home. Despite my children’s promised to help with the cooking, I ended up doing most of it. I found myself cooking ground turkey or chicken dishes every week and freezing them in single-serving containers for my kids’ lunch.

Hang in there, Cecily, because there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I never cook meat anymore. When my husband gets a craving for meat, he makes himself a turkey sandwich. Our diners together in the evening are vegetarian. My older son learned to cook for himself even before going to college, and my younger son — the one who complained bitterly for years that I was starving him to death by not feeding him enough meat — has become a vegetarian himself.

By: Eli

Eli — Mon, 18 May 2009 01:49:17 +0000

Thank you for this thought-provoking post.
I am also part of a mixed marriage, but I am on the other side. I value eating animals and must cope with living with a spouse who doesn’t share my values.

I have no problem respecting the perspective of vegetarians, and I respect their dedication and sacrifice (at least until they forget the taste of meat.) But the issue becomes much more complex when it becomes personal, when I live under the same roof- and thus share utensils, preparation, and meals, with my vegetarian spouse.

I think it would be sad if my spouse and I couldn’t share meals because we have ideological differences, though I recognize that some differences are inflexible.
And I think the question is more profound than balancing your values against your love of family. We are in fact balancing our values against other values- values we already admit to disagree with but try to engage anyways.

I think you are very courageous for respecting your spouse’s views enough to create a space which you can share. Your rules are helpful because they don’t imply self righteousness or pretend to unify opposing views. They merely force everyone who eats in your house to respect you and hopefully learn a little more about the reasons you hold your values.
I think I will suggest some variation in my home (and pretend I thought of this on my own!)