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Worst. Product. Ever.

by Eric Schulmiller · January 31st, 2008

That’s right, your long wait for cheeseburgers in a can is now over. They’re even more convenient than these (but don’t forget, February 12th is International Pancake Day! Although you’ll have to wait a week to celebrate at IHOP).

I think if “Sarah” had eaten this cheeseburger, she might have become Ba’al Teshuva instead of secular. Of course, if you want the ultimate in non-kosher (both eco and traditional) eating, you could cook your cheeseburger on one of these while driving on shabbos:

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12 Responses to “Worst. Product. Ever.”

Leah Koenig Says:
January 31st, 2008 at 11:41 am
Aside from perhaps astronauts, I don’t have a clue who would be interested in purchasing this…
Eric Schulmiller Says:
January 31st, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I guess you could grill your veggies on the way home from the CSA pickup…
Larry Lennhoff Says:
January 31st, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Why are you featuring explicitly non-kosher products on this blog?
Kerr Says:
January 31st, 2008 at 5:47 pm
That’s why the title is “Worst. Product. Ever.”

Actually, it’s a public service announcement to tell people who might not be aware that cheeseburgers in a can are still prohibited.

Maybe with enough public pressure they could be persuaded to create a kosher variety with a veggie patty or with fake cheese, but it wouldn’t change the fact that it’s a disgusting example of all the worst of food excesses: unhealthy, foul, ecologically damaging, unaffordable, and antisocial, all for the sake of convenience packaging.
Leah Koenig Says:
January 31st, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Hey Larry – The Jew & The Carrot (and Hazon) beleive strongly in creating an inclusive Jewish community – and we welcome strict kosher keepers, adamantly non-kosher keepers and everyone in between on the blog. My hope is that readers find a wide variety of posts here that reflect and celebrate the culinary and religious diversity of the Jewish community itself.

In this case however, I think Kerr is right – the humor of the post was that it was so decidedly treif, that it became interesting to the Jewish community, especially the way Eric framed it. The same goes with the recent “bacon vodka” post.
Kerr Says:
January 31st, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Tangentially, this came out at the same time as the JSpot post on Burger King using produce harvested in Florida by slave labor: http://jspot.org/?p=1857

If anything could make this treif-in-a-can worse, it’s knowing that, if it were produced in the US, it would be certainly made with tomatoes produced by forced labor.
Michael Croland Says:
January 31st, 2008 at 9:30 pm
The cheeseburger in a can is so traif, absurd, and removed from what is even the lowest minimum standard we could all agree on that even the vegan blogger thinks it’s downright hilarious. =)
Michael Green Says:
February 5th, 2008 at 3:51 am
In Britain you can buy burgers designed to be ‘cooked’ in a microwave in 2 minutes flat. If you cook it, they will eat… (apparently)

Bon appetite…
Mobius Says:
February 5th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Someone bought one and photographed themselves cooking and eating it! Here!
Leah Koenig Says:
February 6th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Wow Mobius, that’s really a disturbing set of photos!
Annie Says:
July 19th, 2008 at 7:33 am
I just have to hope that they’re not produced in China. I’d have to wonder where all of those dogs that aren’t being cooked during the Olympics would be going…
Soy Candles Says:
October 23rd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
This is hilarious…I wonder if the are really selling. How low can we go…