From Rabbi Without a Cause:

Pesach is coming.

I know what you’re thinking: Of course Pesach is coming! What did you expect, when Purim is so last week!

…

Pesach is coming, I tell you.

And the shailos, oh, the shailos. How do I kasher my coffee-maker? What’s the latest on kashering microwave ovens? Does this need a special hechsher for Pesach? Why? Why not?

My grandmother used peanut oil and had no problem with it. My grandmother refused to use peanut oil, and would have spit on your Pesach kitchen.

What’s the story with mustard? Does meat need a special hechsher? What about fresh fish?

Rabbi, I’m away for Pesach; can I just do a bedikah on the front hallway of my house? How about just a bathroom?

Oh, yes, Pesach is coming, my friend.

The mass exodus of two-thirds of my shul to various relatives. We can’t get anyone to come to our Seder. Maybe they go away just to avoid being invited to our Seder.